I had a huge moment in my life the other night where I was suddenly viewing my life in an observatory state. I didn’t leave my body in an astral sense but I felt very aware of how I was getting in my own way. I was sitting in my favorite chair at home where I do most of my meditating and deep thinking and all of the sudden I had a pop in my ears. A tone became present that was like an air-locked constant dull vibrating sound. My reality shifted once hearing this sound to seeing my entire surroundings more alive than I’ve ever seen before, connected and pulsing with life. I felt out of body but I wasn’t viewing my body from above.
I heard the voices of my children speaking in a completely different way. The reality that they would one day be gone and no longer living with me seemed minutes away. The walls of my home that hold the roof over my head felt taken for granted. The flowers on the dining room table, a gift from my husband to me and my kids on Valentine’s Day, felt achingly beautiful and starving for attention. I heard my husband around the house doing work and could feel the weight of to do lists and projects.
In all of the work of creating a life that has yet to come to fruition, I was not seeing the work of the life that I’ve created and being present in that life. This is not to say that I am not aware or grateful, taking things for granted, but in my constant drive and motivation to see my dreams come to manifestation, I was completely missing what is.
In the weeks leading up to this realization, I was feeling overwhelmingly foggy, exhausted and impatient about my intentions coming to be. Feeling stuck and causing myself more suffering and work than I even knew I was doing but most of all, I was missing the point. Missing the point of my life and missing out on all the moments that I am working so hard to create. Most of all I haven’t celebrated what I have created.
Each day in my morning practice, I create an intention. An intention on what I choose to see in my day and what I want to create. Visualizing, affirming and writing down what will manifest. In addition to my morning practice, I have my new moon ritual I do monthly that includes writing down intentions and releasing by fire, burying in the earth or setting to sea. Some days, I use segment intention and visualization throughout the day when things are feeling particularly heavy. These are all practices I have found that have helped me cultivate the life and vision I wish to manifest.
The present moment is a practice that I am very familiar with and one that I start my day with and come back to throughout the day. I even used to set several alarms on my phone to make sure I was in my body and grounded!
We are all creating the dream of our reality in this playground matrix we call life. It is up to us to choose the reality and dream we wish to see and it’s supposed to be a lot more fun than I think most of us are having. Whether or not you take part in the mass consciousness dream is also a choice and one I choose to mostly not participate in, or at least be as conscious as I can in that paradigm.
In this moment of realization of seeing everything that is in the now moment I could so clearly feel, see and even hear the vibrations of life that was going on 24/7 around me that I was completely missing. It was in that moment that I was completely grounded and connected in the present moment.
Being in the moment is not a new idea. ‘The Power of Now’ by Elkhart Tolle and ‘The Art of Living’ by Thich Nhat Hanh are amazing books on being present and in the moment. I read a lot and I love recommending books but sometimes we need this Aha! moment to wake us up, over and over again.
The practice of patience, it seems to me, and the instant gratification of our world is taking us further and further away from our now moments. Taking us away from truly appreciating what we have in front of us at this very moment is creating a reality of missing out on all the things that are so rich in our day- even the not so pleasant moments that are also rich in discovery.
When I was getting ready to write this blog and thinking of what I wanted to write, I kept coming back to intention and manifestation. Those two subjects are so big to me that I was feeling overwhelmed in just keeping it to one blog post. I bring this up because as I choose daily to live an intentional life and manifest my reality, I saw that even still I am missing the point. Still feeling stuck, working hard and feeling overwhelmed.
How can we keep an intention and focus on manifesting the dreams and lives we wish to see only to see that as our dreams are becoming a reality we are so easily on to the next manifestation, want and need, never to be grateful for ourselves and celebrate what we have created and the life that is all around us? I was totally doing this to myself and my impatience for what I was wanting to manifest was taking away from what already is.
As my thoughts were swirling on writing about intention and unpacking exactly what I wanted to write about over the last two weeks, I had this epiphany in seeing myself out of the moment. In this moment of realization, it almost felt like a warning, that we can manifest the shit out of our lives and create the dreams we’ve always wanted and then what? If you’re not enjoying each and every beautiful moment in your day- from every single person you meet in your life, the ones who bring you joy and the ones who don’t. The walls that are holding up the shelter above your head, running water, heat, flowers on the kitchen table, the voices of your loved ones… These are literally the moments that are being missed as we are either future tripping on what we want or living in the past of what was or what could have been. Or is it that you’re sucked into your phone and into a completely different reality that has nothing to do with the one in front of you and ultimately one that doesn’t matter at all. We’ve all seen this, complained about it and know in our hearts that it’s pulling us away from the beauty of our lives.
Time is infinite and the only moment we have is now. In fact, everything exists in the now. Your future self, your past self and your present self are NOW. Everything around you is a vibration of energy that is interacting with you at every moment. It is so easy, too easy, to completely miss the point and as aware as I am of all of these things, I had an experience in observing my self that was shocking.
In being so hyper focused on my to do list and routines, I saw that even though I completely thought I was being present in my day, I was doing exactly the opposite. I was missing out on the moment of enjoying what I am doing in the present moment. Without being in the moment, you will ultimately end up sabotaging your life.
Being thankful for what is and absorbing it with all of your senses, your being, hearing the sound of voices, nature or even traffic around you. Being thankful for your body, your appliances, heat, animals, plants, organic food, the sky, that you woke up today and have life and get to make the choice of how you live in your moment and what you will bring to manifestation and then enjoy it so much that it makes you cry because you’re so grateful to be alive and in the moment.
Intention is everything and I invite you to hold the intention to be in your moment and to choose an intention for each day. Joy, Love, Beauty, Abundance, Miracles! Whatever energy it might be for you in that moment. I invite you to ground into the earth each day and throughout your day. To bring up earth energy and to bring down source energy, filling your body with light and feeling the vibration of the senses in and around you. Cocooning your body in a bubble of white light and holding the intention that you are held by Mother Earth, that you are protected and that you are present in your body and in your life.
For Your Practice:
- Create an intention – Creating an intention in your morning practice is huge and can completely shift your life! State out loud, on paper, with your feelings and visualize how you want your day to unfold.
- Practice – The present moment is a practice, you will have to revisit it throughout the day, but gets easier. Be present in your thoughts and aware of how you are choosing to feel.
- Choose the reality and dream – Your thoughts and feelings matter! Get clear about what you want and how you want to feel. Taking part in the mass consciousness dream is a choice.
- Practice of patience – Be in the moment and practice patience. Set your intention, get clear on what you’re wanting and know that it is coming to you, you are not going to it. Moving out of patience will create resistance and that is not a great feeling.
- The only moment we have is now – Your future self, your past self and your present self are NOW. Everything around you is a vibration of energy that is interacting with you at every moment.
- Celebrate what you have created – You are amazing!! Look how far you have come and all that you have created. Celebrate your success and enjoy the process.
Love and Light,
April